Goodness, it's all go chez undercovercookie. For a start I've just had dad staying over (from Germany). He brought the most enormous amount of chocolate with him. Far more than even Landlord and I could possibly eat. In fact, I have to confess I've actually gone off chocolate a bit. I'm finding it a bit sickly and I want less of it. I know! I don't get it, either! but we've now got enough chocolate to feed an army of premenstrual women and the thought of it all makes my stomach turn.
I'm also further along the road to having a gobful of gnashers, finally. In short, I've had the implants, the bone grafts. They've 'ossintegrated' nicely. I now have two metal screws sticking out of my gums (most appealing, as you can imagine) which show above the denture, so I look like I have spinach in my teeth, only all the time. I have to admit, this makes me a little bit self-conscious when I smile, especially when people point it out to me (being nice but ultimately embarrassing) .
These metal bits are what the final teeth screw into and can themselves be unscrewed. The prosthodontist has done this several times and I do now feel rather like an IKEA wardrobe. The last time he did this, he asked whether I'd prefer a local anaesthetic beforehand. What with 40 jabs and counting so far, I declined. Just as well. The jabs would have hurt far more than the unscrewing of the caps actually did. Screwing them back in was a bit weird. They throbbed a bit but not actually painful.
I can see where in my gums the implants are by the location of these caps and they do look rather far forward. The implantologist had mentioned that the finished bridge will be further forward than my denture teeth and this might take some getting used to, from which point onwards, my internal voice just kept repeating: Janet Street-Porter Janet Street-Porter Janet Street-Porter Janet Street-Porter.
He said that the final teeth would also be larger (Janet Street-Porter) than what I have now, as they'll match them to my (real) canines. The new position means they'll also have a slightly different shape. They'll be wider to fill the gap (Janet Street-Porter) and be further forward (Janet Street-Porter!).
The finished teeth have enormous potential to look absolutely bloody awful, but being the brave, practical Cookie that I am, I immediately went home and cried to Landlord about soon having buck teeth. I lamented that I was going to have a different face shape. My lips would look weird. I said I'd have difficulty speaking. He said not to worry. He said almost everyone has wonky teeth and it's not the end of the world. Having crooked or oversized or funny-angled teeth holds no one back unless they want a career in television, which I don't. Goofy-teeth are quite common.
Yes, well that's all very well. People do have wonky teeth, but the difference is I'm spending thousands of pounds and receiving rather a lot of injections, drilling, hammering, unscrewing, scraping and general dentist-related unpleasantness. I'd rather like to have something to show for it. I don't want to have gone through all this only to wish I'd stayed with the dentures. I guess I'm abit vain.
Speaking of vanity, I'm also currently having whitening done. well partly it's vanity (I'd like a set of nice white teeth) and partly it's practical. Teeth will always darken with age, tea, coffee and red wine but the bridge won't - ever. Making it to my base colour (rather than current colour) means in years to come, I can go back to base which will match the bridge rather than trying to go back to what I have now. Everyone's base colour is different. I need to find mine. However, the process takes weeks and is gradual and my dentures match my teeth as they are now. As they get paler, I'm going to have a piebald mouth with spinach in for several weeks!
Also, the bleaching agent goes to deeper and deeper levels over time. If I keep using it, eventually it'll reach the dentine. Dentine is naturally yellow and when it bleaches that, you get the brilliant, dulux white that Hollywood likes to pretend is natural (it ain't). I do not want to have tictac white teeth. If I've got to have fake teeth, I want 'em to at least look real, dammit. So somehow I've got to keep a close eye on my teeth to make sure they go white without ending up looking like these guys
(taken from an actual teeth whitening company's website. Do people really want tippex teeth?)
so with any luck, I'll have a set of pearly whites (better than the ones above) by January. hurrah!
