It's been a sore week all in all.

yes I thought that would grab your attention. But ignore the young lady (and that isn't me, by the way - I'd kill for an arse like that) Note the lovely saddle. so take your eyes off the lady for a moment and look at the saddle. The bit on the bike. I said, stop looking at her and look at the saddle.

ok, maybe this illustrates it better

That is a brooks saddle. Brooks have been making leather saddles since 1866 and deserve to be bestsellers. Those are real copper rivets in there and while it is a heavy saddle, it's worth the weight. The leather softens to make a perfect imprint of your bottom and is much more comfortable than you'd think just by looking at it. There is a reason brooks saddle users are passionate about these little babies. Beautiful, traditional, comfortable.

Heavy-hearted, I have to put aside my lovely Brooks saddle, even though I really really love my Brooks and I've never had saddle sore from it. But alas it seems that Brooks saddles are designed for men, who have movable parts that allow a nice even spreading of weight. I don't have the luxury of being able to move anything out of the way and so I'm sat on, well... I'm squashing bits I don't think are meant to be squashed and cutting off blood supplies to some very sensitive equipment. Equipment I'd rather have continued use of ta very much. Going uphill makes this worse as the saddle tilts to the hill and I'm sat even more on areas that are, um, delicate - not to mention important.

To compensate for the squishing I have tended to tilt my pelvis forward so I am sat more on the fleshy part of my rump - this means I am curling my lower back round. Several hours of this makes me ache, especially at the back, shoulders and neck.

So, sadly I've bought a new saddle. It's an ugly saddle. It looks less like something crafted and more like something manufactured.

It has an indentation and special gel padding in areas that the sit bones go. The manufacturer promise that this one really is made for women and isn't just a man's saddle with more width.

Surprisingly it works. My delicate areas are well protected AND I don't have to curl my back and tilt the pelvis, I can actually sit on my sit bones and keep a straight back. The difference is amazing. I can sit like Landlord does on his saddle.

However, this means breaking in my sit bones anew and that means saddlesore . This saddle is nice on my soft bits and not so nice on the hard bits. What I also didn't expect was the new posture that means I am using completely different (untrained) muscles for cycling. I can tell because I ache in areas of my legs I've never ached before. When I started out cycling my quadriceps built up and ached. Now my hamstrings feel like they've taken a beating. These areas correspond with the scrummiest, sexiest, well toned parts of Landlord's cycling legs so I know I am now using the right sets of muscles but they are untrained so I have to build these up.

so it's with a heavy-heart that I put my brooks aside. It is such a lovely saddle. aesthetically pleasing, fine on the arse but unfortunately not fine for other areas and my thighs would like to know why they can't have the Brooks saddle back.

Trouser shopping. Hands up who enjoys trouser shopping. Hmm thought as much. Well when you're the freako pearshape that I am, you hate it even more because no one makes trousers that don't make you look like you have chicken drumsticks for legs. (They are rather chicken drumsticky but I don't want trousers that advertise this fact)

But I am in need of zip-off trousers for taking with me when I cycle the length of Germany later this month.

Field and Trek and Millets were my first attempts. After trying on at least 12 pairs of women's trousers, I had worked out that I am in fact a size 12 and three quarters. Twelves were a bit snug for cycling in but the 14s seemed to be made multi-purpose with built-in parachute in the area where the fly is and the crotches hung low while the hems swung at ankle height. Who, exactly, are these trousers made for?! I have this mental image of short-legged big-bellied women in garment factories, adapting the patterns to what they think a normal shape is.

Having gone through the women's selection I started on the men's trousers. I seem to be a 32" on a man's trousers and these did seem to fit better (at least in leg length) but still I found my mirror image to be too awful to look at for too long. At the first few you blame the cut but after trousers number 20 you start to blame your figure and think y yourself the freak. Why, it's almost enough to make me want to eat less and exercise more!*

After an hour I gave up and went back to the office. Back home, I fell into the arms of Gorgeous Landlord and lamented to him how hard a day I had had, trying on trousers after trousers (I even tried on some shorts and a skort that had me laughing until I cried - or was it the other way around?)

He comiserated as much as he could (having just bought three pairs off the internet, all of which fit nicely, spending about 2 minutes of some simple mouse-clicking), so I went upstairs and tried on his nicest pair.

THEY FIT!

and look better than any other I had tried that day. You spend an hour trying on men and women's trousers and begin to lose the will to live. Then you try on the first pair that are sitting around at home and they are good enough you'd buy them.

so today I am heading shopwards to get meself a pair - men's zip off trews in dark grey with a bazillion pockets and zips in all manner of places.

*what, and give up cake? you must be joking. And anyway - I've been stick-thin before and I end up just being a thinner version of the same shape. I still couldn't find trousers to fit

Wir sind ab morgen in Bayern mit den Fahrrädern unterwegs. That means, as of tomorrow we'll be in Bavaria on our bikes. I might persuade Landlord to buy some Lederhosen while we're there. On the right legs they can look damn fine inded. If there's one thing he has, it's outstanding legs.

but he might insist I get myself a Dirndl.

and if there's one thing I do have it's the suitable accessories to go with it.

I jest but that style of clothing (called Tracht) is still worn in Germany and is not unlike the kilts of Scotland.  I don't feel German enough to wear a Dirndl (the skirt, apron, blouse and bodice that women wear) nor indeed have the funds to afford one, but I do actually like them (and not all as low cut as the one pictured above. I'm thinking the girl in the picture  does not rely on her witty conversation to keep people's attention).

I'm especially excited about this trip because we're getting there by train. There is a sleeper train from Paris to Munich and we're booked into a double cabin and should arrive in Munich, refreshed (or dishevelled, depends what we get up to) at 8am Saturday morning to cycle from Munich in the South to the Ruhr district in the North.

Despite being born in the land of thigh-slapping, beer drinking, sausage eating (ok, enough cliches) people I have actually seen very little of the country. I've never been as far south as Bavaria and I'm not even sure I'll be able to understand what they're saying through the thick Bayerisch accent or that they would understand me with my (now British accented) Ruhrpott German.

I'm also clueless regards the different beers, having left there at about the legal age to drink and I'm not likely to be trying the 1200 varieties or so of sausage (I made that number up. It might well be far more). In fact, I'm not sure I'm going to be much use if Landlord was hoping I'd be able to act as a tourguide. I can say " We're lost.  Where is the nearest pub and when is it likely to stop raining" (though I might be giving my Britishness away by talking about the weather. Germans tend to make smalltalk about their health problems; their circulation and blood pressure being the most popular topics)

 We're back 3 weekends from now. Hopefully with lots of pictures.